As I am embarking on the journey of writing on the topic of respectful parenthood, I feel to start with what it means to me.
I have written in an earlier blog, that my interest in respectful parenthood was ignited very naturally by the birth of our daughter, one and a half year ago. From the moment she was born, it was clear as day. This being is to be respected. And I loved that feeling. It felt so so true.
It wasn’t until then, that I noticed how often we as adults don’t respect our children. How they -for some reason -are supposed to stop crying, to sleep through the night, to listen and behave well.
‘How is it possible that we parent this way?’ I have thought to myself many times over the last year, after experiencing the (what I perceive) incredibly intelligent presence of a (newborn) child.
She has ten toes and ten fingers, she is breathing, her heart is beating, her hair is growing, under her still translucent skin you can see an intricate network of thousands of veins and nerves through which blood flows and uncountable messages are sent to the brain. She can hear, she can see, she can smell and taste and drink and cry!
And I have done absolutely nothing for this to happen, apart from making love.
She started to smile, to roll, to crawl and walk because life wanted it so. All tiny but huge miracles for which we as parents have done nothing special at all.
And then her spirit. A spirit with a flavour all of her own, that was not here on the planet a couple of years ago. Where did she come from and how come she chose me to be her mother?
As parents, we seem to go from awe to exhaustion. And understandably so. To have a child asks an enormous amount of extra energy. A big part of our previous lives goes on, with some extra worry and lot of new responsibilities. It can feel incredibly stressful and scary at times.
As parents, all we want is what is best for our child and we do the best we can. But what if there is a way to keep our hearts open towards our children, while we parent?
What if there is a way to enjoy parenthood and give our children the respect that they naturally ‘deserve’?
We don’t have to be perfect parents, but I do believe that when we truly see our children, and love and respect them for who and what they are (expressing) in this and every moment, then we will make different parenting choices.
Then we might not come from rejection and frustration so often, but will be able to honor the growing human adult that our child is, we set the limits that they (and we!) need but always with love and respect in our hearts.
Isn’t this what we also actually crave for as parents? Don’t we all want to feel love for our children most of the time? Don’t we all want to enjoy our children and parenthood as a whole?
We do. Because it feels right. And it feels right, because it is.
And when a child (or anyone else really) is truly seen with loving kindness and respect, they not only grow up, but they blossom, right in front of our eyes.
Till next time.
Rosalie
Comments